2.17.2010

sick of thirty four degrees

Open letter to Mother Nature on the 30th day of temperatures in the 30's:

Dear Mother Nature, You can leave the thirties now. It's time. They're dull and unattractive and no one likes you in them. The color gray is very boring. What's more, the dingy white you're wearing looks like it needs a good soaking in Biz. It's dull and unappealing and I, for one, am sick of looking out my window at it. Yesterday you allowed a hint of sunshine to appear - didn't you notice how happy it made everyone? Why are you back to the gray - with a forecast for more? And as long as I have your attention, forget the forties and fifties and head straight for the sixties. It's the right thing to do. I assure you, there are lots of new car washes in Logan that will thank you for it. Sincerely, depressed Debbie

Here are my symptoms in case you don't believe I have a problem with you:
  • Afternoon slumps with decreased energy and concentration
  • Carbohydrate cravings
  • Decreased interest in work or other activities
  • Increased chocolate intake
  • Increased appetite with weight gain
  • Increased sleep and excessive daytime sleepiness
  • Lack of energy
  • Slow, sluggish, lethargic movement
  • Social withdrawal